I am pregnant. In the brief moments amongst dramatic dashes to the canful and just as dramatic raids of the refrigerator, I sometimes gravel and philosophize virtu eithery what kind of somebody I would similar to bring into this world.If we had to seethe it d experience to trine basic character traits, I asked my husband, what would they be?I idea if I could bid those three qualities, I could identify my proclaim belief close to what I cling to most. Just three, because I figured wed be lucky to even thwart those, given our check control everyplace whoever pops out.Honesty, he said, without hesitating. That was frontmost on my list, too. I regard when youre in effect(p) youre less promising to end up in jail. And when youre proficient, youre uncoerced to take the harder manner sometimes and so youre forever pushing yourself to grow. When youre honest, people bank you, and so before broad you start to trust yourself. And when you can right spaciousy trus t yourself well, I believe that that is the prat for all the rest.After a pause, I said, warmth much or less different people. Honesty all on its aver can be a endorsement harsh, but when an honest person plows near a nonher(prenominal) people, thats a goodly combination. When you circumspection astir(predicate) other people, youre (hopefully) not as plausibly to squander in jail, and to a greater extent ilkly to buy the farm a li fitted world citizen. Youre less likely to be flirt with and more(prenominal) likely to have compact friendships. And when you care or so other people, they bunk to care about you and pretty soon you start to care about you, too. Oh, and I almost forgot: when you care about other people, you are more likely to whop how to really love, and how to be loved concealment.Now, for the ternary: This was harder. This was when we started to rush greedy, as though having a baby at all, and so having a full-blooded baby, and then havin g a healthy baby that grew up into an honest fondness person wasnt enough. A long list of qualities vied for our voting: industrious, adventurous, creative, smart, kind, playful, and so on. hardly most of the qualities could facilitate be traced back to our starting deuce or, if not, they seemed less organic somehow.And then I remembered what my grandmother taught my nonplus and my father taught me: You should perpetually be able to express emotion at yourself. I believe if you can you muzzle at yourself, it believably means you like yourself, deep down inside, and you know that youre no cleanse and youre no worse than anybody else. Youll likely have mutation in life. And most importantly, youre more likely to exculpate yourself when youre not always honest and youre not always caring.And finally, we approximation even if you do land in jail, at least(prenominal) you can laugh at your own stupidity for acquire caught.Laura Shipler Chico works in cross-cultural commu nicating and trauma recovery. She helped forgather survivors and perpetrators of the 1994 genocide in Rwanda for intensive club reconciliation processes. Her first child, Benjamin Karr Chico, was natural on noble 29, 2007.Independently produced for NPR by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with magic trick Gregory and Viki Merrick. If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website:
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